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A Few Sac-Ripping Cassettes of 2006 (Emerson Dameron)

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Dusted's Emerson Dameron catches up with some of his favorite recordings of the past year.

A Few Sac-Ripping Cassettes of 2006 (Emerson Dameron)

1. Shit Brown PonyfuckerOpalescent Droplets 2004-06 (American Drapery)
Ninety minutes of killer, spleen-busting, eyeball-gouging electronic sickitude. Even horseflies will recognize the sickness. Crude and COMPULSORY!

2. The Black LodjVicious Ass (Canadian Pain)
Super limited C-22 of flag-burning, Christ-disparaging, parrot-mutilating NOISE. On sale until SOMETIME TOMORROW!

3. MisanthropopPoached Dribble (Pol Piss Pot)
Lathe-cut loops and melted wax cylinders from these fuckin’ LUNATICS from Utah. We have –57 copies in stock… whenever anyone asks about it, there’s that much less chance that anyone will ever hear it.

4. Fascist Nazi HydraulicsSkulls: Today’s Hottest Look (Stompin’ Scorpions)
Killer colab from these two FUCKERS: Ted Key from Kamikaze Navigator and Jean-Luc Apertif from Agony Torture. Lobe-lacerating genius. Comes packaged with a dried rabbit turd and slice of pizza from like, 1992. Get these out of my basement before the pigs get suspicious.

5. C. Win CanonPassionate Lust for Apotheosis (Stethoscope Research)
A freaky buzz-drone from the artist formerly known as Psych Ward Suicide. Bubbles, burbles, gurgles, sputters, mutters, mud puddles, sandtraps, drone. Sick shit from an antisocial dude. Comes sealed in three feet of asphalt.

6. Radio Antarctica (Pontoon Tapes)
Last summer, my wife and I visited the Big Dead Place, and I spent all my time getting stoned and making tapes off the radio. If you listen to this static-fest for more than seventeen minutes, your cheekbones will cave in and your pancreas will fucking EXPLODE.

7. Emu PhlegmFucking Appalling Shit (Banjo Burner Tapes)
So Pluto isn’t really a planet. What the fuck? Did our elementary school teachers lie to us about that shit, too? The notches between their fingers should be cut open with a pair of rusty left-handed scissors, and the guys in Emu Phlegm would do the job right. Yes!

8. I Stand AloneWe Fuck Alone (Gaspar Tapes)
This sounds like the somebody pressed the fuckin’ demo key on an old keyboard and let some crazy-ass old French dude with asperger’s rant over it. Bipolar brutality with blasts of boiling pea juice. Phenomenal as FUCK and recommended.

9. Turbo BallsSweet Release of Death (Power Is Cool Tapes)
Sounds like a fuckin’ Black & Dekker just drilling the SHIT out of a rotten pumpkin. Wretched heavy-duty, hurly-burly, cumin-spiced candy corn noise. You will crap out your lunch when you hear this shit.

10. Holistic MysticThrow Up The Dub (Lick It Tapes)
HM is the most full-tilt psychedelic experimental noise band ever. This sounds like a bunch of hippies sitting around playing glockenspiels and throwing nerf balls at each other’s nuts. Twenty-eight seconds of fuckin’ pig-slapping, dirt-digging, moon-exploding, pinecone-up-your-nostril DERANGEMENT. You will go beat Paul Wolfowitz with a dusty eraser after listening to this.

By Emerson Dameron

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